A Year of Love

Rather than starting the new year off with resolutions that picked apart and magnified my insecurities, I wanted to begin 2018 with something derived from a positive place. I decided to spend this year loving myself. Do not get me wrong, I am not stopping myself from any possible romance. It honestly was the lack of romance in my life that led me to be informed of the real issue. I could not expect anyone to love me if I did not truly love myself. So many relationships are based on the misconception that a significant other is what is needed to feel complete. I tried that, and it led to me being emotionally dependent on an individual who left me broken. I learned from that experience that a relationship is meant to be between two individuals who are whole. I was not whole, so I could not expect a relationship. To be whole, I needed to evaluate my sense of self.

I was insecure and mean to my body, and I knew that needed to change. Rather than being hard on myself for my facial features, not meeting the American standard of beauty, and spending every day hating my thicker thighs, I started appreciating how I am different. I now wake up every morning reminding myself how I am beautiful and how I love myself inside and out. After watching Teal Swan’s YouTube video “Self Love- The Great Shortcut to Enlightenment,” I decided to dedicate my year to loving myself. Teal Swan’s video was what taught me the importance of being whole and prioritizing myself. She encouraged this year of self love.

Personally, I wanted to make self love a routine that lasts beyond a year. The goal is to make every action the answer to the question, “What would someone who loves themself do?” Even though it has not been a long period of time, I have never felt so good. I noticed a difference in myself within two days. Friends described my presence as lighter and more positive. My vibrations instantly heightened from listening to my intuition. Until more recently, I would often give my energy and time to people who did not seem to appreciate it. I have stopped making an effort with those people. They do not deserve me, and I do not require them. I shut a lot of doors and managed to figure out who genuine people in my life were. If someone wants to be in my life, they will make the effort. I will not allow a one-sided friendship to consume me. When love comes, I will love without expectations. Expectations allow for disappointment. I can only control myself and how I react to others. I am an instant gratification type of person, but life does not always allow for things to happen instantly. What I desire will fall into place, and I must be patient. I am fine with only loving myself for now. I am whole and content with myself. I have self love and I intend to continue 2018 loving myself.