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November 2018

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So, You’ve Found Yourself in a “Situationship”

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The Situation in “Situationships”

Everyone has had that awkward timing between being single and being in a relationship. A “situationship” you might call it. While these bits of time may be beneficial to your possible upcoming relationship, you must be able to pick out when these situations have gone sour.

To fully understand what it is like in this position, you have to hear all the viewpoints.

Karlie Trumbull, a Bay Area native, gave the lowdown on her experiences and how she picked out the “situationships” that went south.

Trumbull had been in two major “situationships,” but has since stayed single due to the lack of energy that was being returned in both. “One left me emotionally, mentally, and physically destroyed,” Trumbull said, “I was untrusting of everyone after him.” While Trumbull commented that she was happy being free, she still “misses innocent interactions that mean so much more than the sexual ones.”

Joshua Rush, a junior at Los Medanos College, has moved on from “situationships” and finally settled down in a real relationship. Rush and his girlfriend made their title official seven months ago. They started off as coworkers who became friends who became more.

Being in a relationship isn’t always like the movies. The petty arguments that spring from someone being in a bad mood is a downside to look forward to, according to Rush. But in the end, this couple knows they will work it out as long as they talk it out before falling asleep.

Michael Shaw and Melissa Vidal are two freshmen at the University of Nevada, Reno that are currently in a situationship with each other. Shaw describes their situation essentially as a relationship without the title.

Vidal explains that at the moment the two are just stuck because they feel it isn’t the right timing for either to be in a relationship. While they know their picture isn’t perfect, they both believe this “situationship” is benign to them.

“By having a situationship you’re able to have that one person you really love to be around while not having to exert the normal energy that you would in a normal relationship,” Shaw said.

“It’s beneficial for us because we are both on the same page but it’s rare when you can both agree with everything,” Vidal said. While the two have only been in this “situationship” for about a month, both have strong views on the pros and cons about it.

The pair agree that it’s desirable to have the flexibility of being single while also still have the emotional and physical support you would expect in a relationship.

While this may make the pair seem carefree, there is still strain because of the imbalance in emotion and physicality.

“You don’t get to have that normal relationship with all of the cliche traits like the formal dates, family functions, or simply just small gestures,” Shaw said. Vidal said that is what causes her the most distress is the fact that they’re still able to be with anyone they want due to the free nature of their situation.

As they move forward with what they have, the two predict how this may affect their romantic lives. “Moving forward I could only see the romantic elements improve because there really isn’t too much stress or questionable variables,” Shaw said.

Vidal commented more specifically on their “situationship.” “Basically, we aren’t going to be able to stay like this forever. Sooner or later we’ll have to either move forward or move on,” she said.

While Shaw and Vidal work hard to make their situation as unproblematic as possible, this is not always the case. So what should you do if you find yourself in a “situationship” gone south?

“Confront them on why you aren’t official and if they give even the slightest excuse: run!” Trumbull said. “If you have the option, take it slow get to know them then see if there’s a relationship there and if there isn’t you still have a friend,” Rush said.

Shaw suggests not to stay in something that doesn’t make you happy because in the long run, it’s not worth it. “It’s not worth the stress, it’s barely worth the stress now. Drop the bum,” Vidal declared. Romance is confusing, whether you’re in a relationship, single, or still figuring it out. The best advice is to do what feels best for you, mentally and physically.

LGBTQ Symbol

Our Center LGBTQ History Month

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Our Center, a local nonprofit that provides resources to the LGBTQ community, hosted several events for LGBTQ History Month in October. The four events featured panels and discussions on topics ranging from the HIV and AIDS to National Coming Out Day.

Sherrie Scaffidi, an Our Center volunteer, explained that the events provide education on LGBTQ issues for people of all ages. Scaffidi believes this is vital due to the limited resources in Northern Nevada for LGBTQ youth in particular. “I appreciate the education for the LGBTQ community and their allies,” said Scaffidi, “It’s very important.”

The events discussed the topics of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the 1980s, National Coming Out Day, the history of LGBTQ politics in Nevada featuring representatives from the ACLU, and Trans History.

Scaffidi said that while every event attracted attendees, the panel on National Coming Out Day was the most popular. “Probably 25 to 30 people were at the National Coming Out Day panel,” said Scaffidi. The event featured a moderator and several panelists who answered questions and discussed their own coming out stories, according to Scaffidi.

Scaffidi said that the National Coming Out Day panel helps people to have a deeper understanding of the difficulties involved in coming out. “The coming out stories seem to impact so many people when they realize the difficulties that people go through when they’re coming out, and how strong you have to be to come out as LGBTQ,” said Scaffidi.

Scaffidi also explained the extreme psychological toll staying in the closet can have on some LGBTQ people. Scaffidi said, “A lot of people say, ‘Oh you guys are heroes,’ and ‘Oh you guys are really strong.’ What people don’t realize is at some point, if you’re in that community, you have to come out, or it can kill you.”

Scaffidi believes that increasing LGBTQ community education can create more allies, and a greater sense of safety for LGBTQ people to come out. “People would understand what it’s like and maybe give someone the power to come out,” said Scaffidi.

According to Scaffidi, Our Center hopes to host LGBTQ History Month events next year as well. Going forward, Our Center hopes to attract new volunteers and attendees. “We’re trying to get some new volunteers, get some new blood, some new thinking,” said Scaffidi, “Looking forward, we’re going to be way better than we are now.”

A Star is Born characters

A Star is Born Review

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In his directorial debut and her first ever major movie role, Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga shine in A Star is Born. Offering performances that will undoubtedly receive multiple award nominations, the duo play on each other’s strengths as an actor and musician to deliver the definitive version of the 1937 film of the same name.

Cooper portrays rock star Jackson Maine who discovers Gaga’s character, Ally, while she performs one night at a local drag bar after her shift as a restaurant worker. Her unrecognized talent as a singer doesn’t stop her from performing there every week, but when they lock eyes during her performance, time slows down and it’s clear Jackson sees something in her. What follows is an intimate journey as Jackson helps Ally discover herself as an artist that leads to her own fame and success she’s always dreamed of. The two fall in love in the process, but Jackson’s long battle with addiction and alcoholism cause strain on their relationship the audience gets to see unfold.

Watching the film and seeing Cooper portray a character go through such a real struggle that every generation has seen claim the lives of so many great musicians left me feeling as helpless as his character. As the fourth remake of the original 1937 film, the story isn’t meant to be original, but it shows just how familiar we are as a culture with watching the stars we love battle with their demons in the limelight. Cooper’s version of the film tells a story people can still learn from so the next time they witness or know someone struggling with addiction, they can have a better understanding of what it’s like and try to empathize.

The biggest strengths of the film are undoubtedly its soundtrack and musical performances that were shot live at real festivals and concerts. The film’s opening sequence of Cooper rocking out and performing to a screaming crowd instantly showcased his remarkable transformation from actor to musician, and the soundtrack solidifies Gaga as one of the most versatile artists of this generation, The film’s lead hit single “Shallow” not only sparks the beginning of Ally’s career in the film, but is also one of Gaga’s greatest hits she shares with Cooper. With hard rock songs like “Diggin’ My Grave” and “Black Eyes,” country songs like “Music to My Eyes,” and pop songs like “Hair Body Face” and “Why Did You Do That?,” there is a song for nearly everyone to enjoy.

With a runtime of 2 hours and 15 minutes, the film felt lengthy and slow at times, but the musical performances typically broke up any monotony found later in the story.

A Star is Born succeeds in telling a familiar story of love, passion, family, fame, and struggle that will have you leaving the theater in admiration for both Cooper and Gaga’s honest performances they clearly gave their all. Believe in the hype and catch this must see movie in theaters while you still can!

Dia De Los Muertos

UNR Celebrates Día de los Muertos

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The beginning of Halloween not only brings out the costume themed parties and the cute kids dressed in adorable costumes, it also brings out the Day of the Dead festivities.

It is believed that the veil between the land of the living and the afterlife is the weakest, beginning the night of Halloween. The deceased are then able to visit with their families for 24 hours.

Let me start off by saying that El Día de los Muertos is not the Mexican version of Halloween. This two day holiday celebrates the lives of the deceased with fiestas and offerings to those who have made the long journey from the afterlife to Earth.

“Many Latin American families’ altars are done so privately and intimately, but you sit around and eat food and share stories about the people on the altar. It’s a way for people to keep their memories alive,” said Ricky Salazar, program coordinator at The Center on the university’s campus.

These practices originated thousands of years ago from the Aztecs, who considered mourning the dead to be disrespectful. Instead, they celebrate life and the lives of those who have passed.

“We do it in such a festive way that it becomes happy, even when it’s sad. It’s an attempt to honor their memories and share their stories,” said Salazar. They commemorate the dead with altars, or ofrendas in Spanish. They decorate the altars to welcome back the dead to the land of the living. Each are personalized by their own family, but most will contain some sort of food or drink to give to the travelers as a reward for the long journey.

The Center for Cultural Diversity hosted their own event on Wednesday October 25th for groups of students to make their own altar. The groups were provided tools and supplies needed such as paper, candles, sugar skulls, flowers, plastic tablecloths, and banners.

The altars will be up from October 25th to November 1st. On the 1st of November, they held a reception where they crowned the best altar.

First place winner was Lambda Theta Pi, a latino fraternity on campus.

“For me, it’s the notion of connecting student to their roots. Most students know but don’t understand El Día de los Muertos. My job is to help them explore and learn their identity through events like this,” Salazar concluded.